Category: Lifestyle

Emotional Burnout! 

As a woman do you sometimes feel that no matter how much you do, it just isn’t enough? The day-to-day chores seem so mundane and monotonous that you take up more to challenge yourself and discover a new you, only to be submerging yourself in more responsibilities. And now, you’ve stretched your limits, feeling discontented with yourself, and unable to satisfy the needs of others around you.

Sound familiar? Well, you’re not alone. A recent Harris Poll survey revealed 35% women felt burned out at home compared to just 25% of men. Moreover, 48% of these women said that their burn out was intense enough to keep them awake at night.

A lot of the blame goes back to as early as our childhood and high school years when we place status on high achievement. We’re pressured in our grades, friendships, extra-curricular activities and more. The pressure of having to be brilliant at all times creeps into our adulthood and merges into every aspect of our lives.

But there are other reasons for burnout such as:

• Lack of support
• Inadequate appreciation
• Taking on more than one can handle (Personally and professionally)
• Poor self-care (Physical and mental)

Which can lead to physical symptoms, emotional exhaustion, reduced performance, lack of enthusiasm in our favorite activities, and even tension in relationships.

So what can we do when experiencing burn outs?

I cannot stress enough the importance of self-love. We should begin to love and respect ourselves for who and what we are, and not give the power to another to do it for us instead. The fact that we unfortunately give into societal pressures of how a woman ought to be is what is now becoming detrimental to our health and wellbeing- physical and mental. Burnout is serious and is slowly becoming the new epidemic worldwide.

Over time, the warped idea of supposed “perfection” has superseded the basic necessity for one to be themselves, to do the best within their ability, to draw boundaries, and to be happy and content with it. It doesn’t mean that as a woman you shouldn’t desire to be more than you are. Of course you should and you can be! It just means that you should respect yourself enough to achieve and become the best version of yourself at the pace and for the reasons that you establish for yourself, not at the pace and reasons that society determines for you!

As women, we play vital roles at home, in our interpersonal lives, and in society. Along with the many priceless roles we don with ease and dignity, be it a grandmother, mother, sister, wife, daughter, etc., we have women who are also out there conquering the world and mastering many professions and arts with the utmost flamboyance, making women-kind worldwide proud.

We should be an inspiration to the future generations, just like the beautiful women of strength from our Islamic History. They were the manifestation of fortitude, and worthy of inspiration. Their distinct stories and challenges are incomparable to any of those that we face on a daily basis. Yet, they overcame them with immense grace and dignity.

Cut yourself some slack. Take it easy on yourself. Give yourself a well- deserved break. You are amazing just the way you are. You are capable. You are powerful. You are brave. You are strong. You are Passionate. You are all of this a whole lot more!! No one can tell or make you feel otherwise, because,

You are a Warrior!

Written by Safra Nawasadeen

A mum’s top tips to a productive day!                

Our world values the daily hustle, but productivity looks different for everyone. Some people may do less and feel accomplished, while others may be busy the whole day and feel that they have done nothing productive. Even with pre-planning there’s no guarantee that everything will go as planned.

Many of us wake up with these plans but end up consuming content on our phones and neglecting the day ahead. The way your morning unfolds can set the tone for the rest of the day. This can skew progress and affect your mood.

After listening to and reading extensively on ways to be effectively productive, I have incorporated these tips in my life to make my day that bit more productive.

Prepare the night before. A productive morning begins the night before  and there are three things you should do the night before that can help clear your mind and improve your mood in the morning:

1. Arrange the house and kitchen. Put away the toys and, wash the dishes and put everything back in the proper places. There is nothing more satisfying and calming than getting up to a clean house
2. Plan for the next day. When you plan for the next day, and even if certain things go out of plan, you still have an outline for the next day.
3. Meal prep and clothes prep – this is my favorite, I hate waking up in the morning just to get caught in the office and school rush of making breakfast, packing boxes and ironing clothes. At least prepping for the meals and getting the clothes organized saves a lot of time and stress in the morning.

Pray Fajr and recite a few lines from the Quran. As mentioned earlier, how you start your day, sets the tone for the rest of the day. Praying Fajr will give you a sense of calm that will remain with you throughout the night, and by reciting a few lines from the Quran, Allah will put barakah in your time.

Take short breaks. Make sure that your break doesn’t extend for more than half an hour, because a body in motion stays in motion and body in rest stays in rest.

Make religious affairs a family event. After Asr, I spend time with the kids for 30-60 minutes, either playing with them or helping them in their school work. After Maghrib, we spend time reciting and memorizing the Quran, and read a hadith or two together as a family.

On busy days, choose simple recipes and cook in batches. I prepare dinner the same time I make lunch. For example, I either make the curry for dinner and knead the dough for dinner or I make extra curry for lunch so that I can use it for dinner as well. In the same way, while making dinner, I prep for the next day’s meals.

Delegate. While I’m getting the dinner ready, I will ask my children to go and clean their room and put away their toys. Delegation is an important part of having a productive day, because however much you feel like you have to live up to being an ‘IDEAL’ and ‘PERFECT’ mother, if you do everything by yourself you are going to face a burnout sooner than later and that will result in you being snappy and irritated and you will then take out your anger on others, especially your children. A HAPPY MOTHER IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN A PERFECT MOTHER.

Read to your Children before Bed. Reading is one of the best habits that we can inculcate in our children. It sharpens their mind, helps them think critically and logically and opens the doors to their imagination. Also, as we know, alhamdulillah, kids are full of energy throughout the day, and reading and quiet time will give them a chance to unwind and calm down before bed, which will result in them being able to sleep easily.

Unwind with your partner. After the kids have slept, my husband and I take some time to spend together. Either we chat,  watch a movie, or just be in each other’s presence. I also use this time to brain dump and plan for my next day.

Watch what you consume before bed. Anything that stimulates your brain before bed will disrupt your ability to fall asleep. So turn off your phones, and be mindful of what you consume. I like to read a book before I sleep.

While each individual’s day pans out differently and can have different responsibilities, some may be working, some may live in extended families and the like, the important points to remember are:

• Plan your day around Salah and don’t squeeze salah into your plan
• Take breaks when necessary
• Don’t feel guilty when you are not able to complete everything in your to-do list or give equal attention to everyone, not all days will be the same.
• Delegate and don’t shy away from asking for help when Talk to your partner or significant other if you need help.

Written by Khadijah Hisham